Saturday, February 21, 2015

never too late

note:
i wrote this piece weeks ago and for whatever reason was unhappy with my words and decided against posting it...truly forgot about it until i stumbled upon it this morning...shocked myself when i saw the title sitting there in my unpublished posts... i clicked on it to remember what i had to say on the subject because these very words have been toying with my brain to the point that i have been writing a song with the same title...obviously something i'm trying to work out right now...so as you read this, please keep that in mind...it's an unfinished work in progress
i'm so close to figuring it all out
and i will undoubtedly share the findings here
until then
 i will rejoice in the perfect imperfection.

life
a series of
baby steps
toward your genuine self
being true
being real
keeping it real
in a world full of one-liners
cliche or not
it presents its challenges 
within this framework
of self

your mind is on a collision course
between
wants
needs
should's
should-not's
do's
don't-s
throw another being 
into the picture
and the obstacles are doubled
quadrupled!
going beyond self
taking their perspective and feelings
into account
into consideration

filtering
the self

questioning
self

unavoidable.

and
left 
 wondering
what this
being real thing
would look like

chaotic
peaceful
miserable
joyful

i'll let you know
when i get
there.

Monday, February 2, 2015

artwork and musings

'...the more time you spend trying to meditate, the more time you have, because you bring more attention to the things that you're doing. Attention, expands time. If you bring more attention to a moment, then that moment is much longer. There's more that you can bring to the moment, more that you can take out of it. '
~author unknown
but i love it
letting that thought
guide me

grabbing hold
of the
thread
as it
transforms my breakfast
from a simple wedge
that nourishes
quenches
and becomes
the partial orb 
that found itself on every drawing
of childhood

taking an ordinary day
and making it
extraordinary

could be the blizzard conditions
could be work cancellations
whatever it is
i'm feeling
giddy as a school girl
(yes! i said it!)

an explosion of emotion
that is enhanced
by the
light
created by that
amazing orb 
making its appearance
after the great snow
as if to say

everything's gonna be alright
see for yourself

one has only to look
at some examples
of contemporary art
to see
that what was true in my childhood days
still holds today
I Love...
sunshine!
(upper left corner)
totally changes the mood
from
scary cat to
playful antics
smiling
happy faces
and
of course!
the sun is shining
in the upper left-hand corners

once again
its all about the
light source
most recently
a get well card
brought to me
during the peak of illness
by my brave daughter-in-law
because
it was so important to
my girl Kierstin
who
wanted 
needed
me to have it
ASAP
because she wanted me to know
what i already knew

i am loved
holding hands
happy
 healthy faces
hearts
and
a whole lotta
sunshine
so bring it!

the snow
the wind
but as long as there is
plenty of light
i will find
 new insight
clarity
and
the attention
enhanced by meditation

the attention
that expands time

and the moments
in turn

will be
 given their
due.


Wednesday, January 28, 2015

inspired by

you never know when
it will strike

yesterday
while watching
Weather Channel's
Jim Cantore


giving credit
where
credit's due

he not only
reported
 on
winter storm juno
with the gusto
that is 
Jim Cantore
he strapped on some
snowshoes
and hoofed through nearly
two feet of powder
playing
exercising
oh yeah...
and working

in the past
i've seen him
ski while working!
this man 
loves what he does
loves the great outdoors
you can read it in his eyes
totally in his element
it does a heart good
to see
a perfect balance of
passion and career choice

more than that
 he got me
looking out my window
with
sunshine and temps
in the teens


and the long shadows
began
 calling me

the list can wait
time to play

a proving it
 selfie

a nearby metro park
was James' choice
and since he
agreed to my madness
i gave him that

we may not have been hit
with the blizzard
here in the Midwest
but there was
just enough snow on the ground
to provide some 
resistance training


James 
such a good sport
 always willing to join me

we'll call it phys ed


other than our breath
the crunch of our boots
and the occasional
conversation
there was
 quiet


the kind of quiet
that can only 
be heard
in
 winter woods

alone
without another human in sight
we enjoyed
the peace


that blue sky
confirmed it

this day was meant
to be 
encountered

with silence on that scale
every sound 
had us turning
imagining
something
someone
was watching us

and oh
they were


keeping a very 
close eye
on us

as we 
kept ours 
on them


just woods?


take a closer
look


the final leg of 
our two mile jaunt
had us
crossing
Shrek-like bridges
and quoting lines
while James
had it swaying


"there, there donkey...
there, there..."


we were most definitely
not alone
on the 
Big Woods Trail


with a
 good day
send-off
we completed the walk
and had such a story
to share

so
 thank you
Jim Cantore
for inspiring me
to get my butt off the couch
and 
experience it

after all

life is a gift...
experience is the
beauty.
--yogi tea 


Get out there
and
experience the
beauty.


Saturday, January 24, 2015

table tops

as winter firmly
establishes
itself
time is increasingly
spent
indoors
life happens
within the four walls
of home
and how that time is spent
is told 
by what the 
table top
holds
music
songs studied
and learned
songs written and sung
ambitious endeavors
that seem less daunting
during January days
when determination 
is strong
studying
speaking
and dreaming of
a boot worn
on the Mediterranean Sea
an endless tournament
like a lady in waiting
encouraging
 in its silent way
to sit together
to play a game
when the television
seems more like an
intruder
than 
a guest
and the table
 tells all
computer time
Italian time
reading
 magazine-ing
and once again
dreaming
about trying new things
 cross-country skiing
 trail hiking
so much learning
before settling in
for another Netflix movie marathon
but
not before
gathering 
around 
the table
with family
and sharing a meal prepared
by your sweet daughter-in-law
and son
providing the space and garlic bread
 a glass of wine
oh
what a treat
to be treated
to pray together
catch up
and
simply
be
during these long winter
days.

What does your
table top
have to 
say?


Monday, January 12, 2015

for the love of complaining

Like salt
in an exposed
wound

"Fiji...
you've never been?
...when my plane lands
I shed all my clothes
 and for a week
 I gallivant around the island naked."
--Mad About You
"I said YES to a big adventure...
and just this week
booked a flight
to Bali!"
--Amanda Soule
"We're going to Mexico
in February...
why don't you come?
I bet you could still 
rock a bikini."
--D.B. @ the Christmas party
after a few beers
For the last two years
I have been 
burdened
with a work trip
first to Dominican Republic
and then
Antigua

Always on the back of my mind
while holiday feasting
and cookie baking

come January I 
had to
rummage through my
meager 
though growing
summer attire
and
search through clearance sites
for a new bathing suit

Oh 
the bother!

2014
with its record snowfall
and bitter temps
proved to be difficult
for the housing industry
and so
my husband did not make quota
i.e.,
Aruba will not be seeing us.

What a relief!
Right?
Wrong!
For I remember...
the dread was immediately
replaced with joy
when the plane went from cold to warm
when my feet hit the white beach
warm balmy breezes caressing my body
clothes traded in for a tankini
and a hot cocoa dumped for
  an 
island surprise
ahhh...
in a word
lovely

the only thing that could have made
it better...
is if we were
all alone
without co-workers
(who are great people
but still...)
just Rudy and Jenny
being
Rudy and Jenny
other than that
damn near
perfect

not that I wouldn't be posting
a sad tale if the situation
were reversed
mind you
I'd have to share my woes
of having to lose 10 pounds in 
3 weeks
or
finding a suit for my body type
in the middle of winter
with skin
whiter than snow

oh...
boo-hoo-
hoo! 
and I discover
a sorry truth
about myself
I love the snow
I love the sand
and boy oh boy
do I love to 
complain!

Wednesday, January 7, 2015

winter blue

If each month were assigned
a color
January's
 would have to be given
blue


i did not take this picture

the closest i could find
in winter landscape images
that resembled a moment
that found me 
without my camera
regardless
i knew at the time
all the shades of blue
the denim of my jeans
the slate interior of our ford pickup
driving through fresh snow
reflective of the glacial cloudless sky
perfect lighting that only nature can provide
couldn't possibly be fully captured
with a mere photo

at the time
i said aloud to James
this is what winter looks like
winter blue
and we started a conversation
on how we wished we could
"capture"
such moments with a camera
alas
knowing
how fruitless
the attempt would be
for us at least
amateur photographers

its the essence
the feelings
the complexities
the whole of it
not just a small snippet
rather
the completeness

i think it's closely linked
to the emotions
that are stirred in you
a memory that is created
while at the same time
with years to go by
a memory tapped into
a reference
that was cataloged
for the very reason
you found yourself digging in
your purse
coming away with the realization
that you left both your camera and i-phone
home

so with a blink of the eyes
 a prayer in your heart
because you are wise with those years
the hope
that this memory will be there
to hold onto 
as a reminder
of how beautiful
January
can be.



Thursday, January 1, 2015

a new year

With the blissful blur
known as December
behind us


the work parties
the gift finding
the wrapping in colorful paper
the decorating with jewels from the attic
bringing to mind
Christmases past
the remembering
the snicker doodles 
peanut butter cookies with blossoming
chocolate kisses
pecan roca candy
the card sending and receiving
 the feeling of joy when the mail is brought in 
a little pile assembled
opening each with a smile
the stressful moments
which I had hoped would pass me by
finding me
 right on time
the Christmas Eve family service
singing of carols
two special girls at the alter
listening to a story with
growing impatience
the family gathering
smaller than usual
just as sweet
with all the trimmings
that make it
our Christmas


with all that behind us
we settle down
for a quiet night
alone
just the four of us
with plans for game night
traded in for
 Netflix 
binging on
Blue Bloods
tending to a 
Christmas cold
that some did not avoid

game night will have to wait


instead
the warming by a fire
drink at hand
a pizza and Greek salad
celebration
the falling asleep
on a couch that bears my imprint 
the wakening with a shake at midnight
to welcome in the new year
sharing of kisses
and wishes
and a secret
that you have a feeling
a hunch, actually
that 2015
is going to be
a very good year.


quite possibly
the best year yet...

and that my friends 
is my simple wish

my prayer
for each of you.

Happy New Year.